Resistance to Change
Deep down, many of us find that there are many parts of ourselves and our addictive lifestyles we really don’t want to let go of.
Here are some ways others have successfully tackled this problem:
• “I want to want to”: If we can’t honestly say we want to change something, at least we can often say we wished we wanted to change it. That’s a good start—give yourself credit for effort and keep working on it.
• Accept the feelings, but control the actions: Sometimes we can’t leave a character trait behind as long as we’re trying to get rid of it. We can control the action, and that may be all for a while. And that’s okay—but once we accept it with the hope that it will leave us one day but the view that we’re okay where we’re at for today, it often does start changing.
• Find replacement activities: Often it isn’t the chemical itself we crave, but something else that happened when we consumed it. Find new ways to get that something else. (Make Lifestyle Changes: Explore Alternatives to Substance Abuse.) Figure out what the payoff was, and find another way to get it without such a high price tag.
• Set small goals and reward yourself: This is a good way to build new habits. It takes about three weeks of practice for most people to get a new habit formed; give yourself little rewards several times during that period for sticking to it. Give yourself time!
• Hang around with people who are the way you want to be: You’ll learn things from them, and some of their attitudes and habits may rub off on you.